Spore Cowboy

Joke: Payback In Vegas

2009-03-19T14:31:00.002+08:00

A successful businessman flew to Vegas for the weekend to gamble. He lost the shirt off his back, and had nothing left but a quarter and the second half of his round trip ticket. If he could just get to the airport he could get himself home. So he went out to the front of the casino where there was a cab waiting.

He got in and explained his situation to the cabbie. He promised to send the driver money from home, he offered him his credit card numbers, his drivers license number, his address, etc. but to no avail. The cabbie said, "If you don't have fifteen dollars, get the hell out of my cab!" So the businessman was forced to hitch-hike to the airport and was barely in time to catch his flight.

One year later the businessman, having worked long and hard to regain his financial success, returned to Vegas and this time he won big. Feeling pretty good about himself, he went out to the front of the casino to get a cab ride back to the airport.

Well who should he see out there, at the end of a long line of cabs, but his old buddy who had refused to give him a ride when he was down on his luck. The businessman thought for a moment about how he could make the guy pay for his lack of charity, and he hit on a plan.

The businessman got in the first cab in the line. "How much for a ride to the airport?" he asked.

"Fifteen bucks," came the reply.

"And how much for you to give me a blowjob on the way?"

"What?! Get the hell out of my cab."

The businessman got into the back of each cab in the long line and asked the same questions, with the same result.

When he got to his old friend at the back of the line, he got in and asked, "How much for a ride to the airport?"

The cabbie replied, "Fifteen bucks."

The businessman said, "Ok" and off they went. Then, as they drove slowly past the long line of cabs, the businessman gave a big smile and thumbs up sign to each driver.

"All you need is a dollar and a dream"

2009-03-07T10:22:00.000+08:00

That used to be one of the slogans for the New York State lottery.
And I like it.

A leap of faith

2009-02-27T23:49:00.003+08:00

I just visited a friend's blog. Glad to know that he's doing well. I am happy when the people around me are doing well.

For myself, I forsee many challenges in the year ahead. One of my goals this year will be to complete at least one research-type project which very few people have tried. A sudden thought came to me... "You need faith to walk this lonely path, my son."

Yes, faith will be the fuel that keeps me going into the unknown future.
Sally forth, Stephen! You do not have a choice.

Ex-defence chief Ng Yat Chung joins Temasek

2009-02-23T11:57:00.006+08:00

From http://www.straitstimes.com/Free/Story/STIStory_135992.html :

July 5, 2007
Ex-defence chief Ng Yat Chung joins Temasek
By Bryan Lee

FORMER defence chief Ng Yat Chung has joined the senior management of Singapore investment company Temasek Holdings.

Lieutenant-General Ng, 46, took up the position of portfolio management managing director on Sunday - a newly created role, The Straits Times understands.

Temasek confirmed the appointment on Tuesday but declined to provide further details.

The appointment comes less than four months after Lt-Gen Ng stepped down as Chief of Defence Force and handed the baton to then Major-General Desmond Kuek.

It mirrors similar movements of other military leaders to civilian positions. Lt-Gen Ng's predecessor, Lt-Gen Lim Chuan Poh, for example, is the chairman of the Agency for Science, Technology and Research.

A career soldier since 1979, Lt-Gen Ng was awarded the Singapore Armed Forces (SAF) Overseas Scholarship in 1980 and has since held many key command and staff positions.

Before taking the helm of the SAF in 2003, he was Chief of Army. He has also served as director for joint operations and planning and Chief of Staff (Joint Staff).

During his four years at the head of the SAF, Lt-Gen Ng was credited with improving the SAF's operational readiness and steering it into the next generation.

Outside the military, he is a member of the board of trustees at the National University of Singapore, chairing its campus planning and development committee.

Lt-Gen Ng is a Cambridge University graduate, has an MBA from Stanford University and recently completed the Advanced Management Programme at Harvard University.

What is this?!! An ex-army guy with zero war experience is now appointed portfolio management managing director. Oh well, from Temasek/GIC's long list of investment fiascos (in companies such as Citi Group, Merrill Lynch, UBS, ABC Learning, Shin Corp...etc), I already get the impression that they are mickey mouse investment fund houses. This news article confirms that they do hire senior management staff w/o relevant experience.

Here's a joke that I found from the ChannelNewsAsia forum:

During the interview...
hojin : show us the return of your investment for the past 3 years..
general : sure... *take out a stack of paper from his bag*.... nah.. this is my dbs fd, ocbc fd, uob fd... total returns for the past 3 years is about 2 + 2 + 2 = 6%
hojin : *turn to her secretary and whisper* how much we make for the past 3 years?
secretary : -35% and going down summore
hojin : *smile* very good - you are hired.

I should really brush up my resume and look for a job with our dear Temasek/GIC. If I get the job, I forsee many years of good returns... for my wallet... :D

Give me an apathetic SG guy over a gushy romantic Frenchman any day!

2009-02-13T11:38:00.011+08:00

This was posted by Jamie Yeo on SPH Stomp's StarBlog.
Reproduced from http://starblog.stomp.com.sg/post.php?blogid=1092&cid=44019 as follows:

Are Singaporean men romantic?

How would I know? I've only been out with a handful. It's not like I've dated every single available local guy out there. If I've done so, (I'd be a tramp and) I'd be able to answer this week's topical question reasonably and fairly. Ladies, it's human nature to generalize so I'm not faulting you if you've sworn off local guys after just one bad experience with a "Wah lau eh"-spewing, stingy mummy's boy of a Singaporean dude.

On the flip side, let's talk about Frenchmen for a bit. Everyone says Frenchmen are the most romantic! They are quick to lavish compliments on you ("OooH La la! You are so beeauuooooooodifooool!), eager to wine and dine you, and apparently know quite a lot of moves in bed. I wouldn't know. The Frenchmen I've met know how to sweet talk alright...to almost everything in a short skirt. Yeah they might tell you they find your body sexy and your face exquisite, but I'm pretty sure they'd say the same thing to the next long-haired lass they meet. And maybe they do know the right buttons to push under the covers, but they only know all that because of their extensive wealth of hands-on experience!

Romance is subjective. Everyone has their own definition of it. We all need and want to be loved in different ways. To me, romance is the little effort put in here and there. Romance is a warm surprise hug from behind while I'm cooking. Romance is a "You're so hot baby" whispered breathily in my ear while we're out at a club. Romance is rubbing my tired feet after I've had a long day in my heels. Romance is hearing and asking what I want with the intent to meet it. Romance is finding me sexy even when I don't have any make-up on. Romance is deep long conversations into the night. True romance to me is also a healthy sex life. No relationship can be healthy without regular sex. Ask any marriage counsellor and they'll tell you the same thing.

Like I said at the start, I've only been out with a handful of Singaporean men. So I'm going to use my friends and my collective experience to best answer the question.

Singaporean men are alright. They aren't the most romantic I admit but they do try to make an effort. To be fair, a few local guys are extremely romantic, meeting the definition of "romance" in every way. (I know a girlfriend whose husband of 4 years still leaves little love notes on the pillow occasionally). However, most SG men aren't really and in the process cancel out the minority of die-hard romantics.

Still, I fully admit that I, along with the rest of the female population here, am too picky for my own good. My standards are too high. I should first take a long hard look at myself. Am I romantic? Do I make the effort? So what if I'm a girl, I can be the romancer too instead of being the passive "romancee"!

Oh, what am I saying? It's exactly because I'm a lady that I should be worth the effort. All throughout history, men have fought with each other, bled, frowned, wept, stressed and toiled over courting and romancing and pleasing women. History is sacred, gentlemen! Woe is he who tries to change its course. It is your duty to romance us, even if we're fussy, picky and annoying. For we are also beautiful, sexy, loving and endearing. And don't forget, you need us. We bear you children.

Jamie displays both beauty and brains with this playful yet intelligent post.
Women! Can't live with them, but we can't live without them either.

Motivational Story 03 (YOU ARE NOT ALONE)

2009-02-13T11:24:00.004+08:00

This was posted on the Credit Counselling Singapore website. Reproduced from http://www.ccs.org.sg/alone.html as follows:

Story from Mr Ben (in his 40s):

This is my story:I am working as a Manager drawing a salary of S$6,000 per month. To many people I know, this is an upper salary bracket. However, to me this is the minimum sum required to keep my family survive. This amount do not include allowance for food. My wife has to work to help me make ends meet. And I only have one son who is in secondary school now. This is because three quarter of my salary is used to pay my credit card debts.

Sounds tough ... it was tougher two years ago when almost all the banks who had issued me with credit cards, magnified and spelled out the fine wordings stated in the terms and conditions that I had earlier signed; except I must add CITIBANK who was quick to equitably help me restructure my credit card debt to term loan. The same banks who had for many, many years loan me the money and treat me like VIP as a customer at the front counter had now transferred my acounts to their Collection Dept who termed me legally as debtor. The legal language switched from Banking Act to Bankruptcy Act. Many are armed with willing lawyers who had memorised the Bankruptcy Act by heart to prey on obviously unrepresented debtor. Some of the banks employed licenced 'Tai Long' who are fond of offending and breaching the debtor's privacy. It was a very tough period for me; psychologically.

I requested the help of The Association Bank of Singapore who directed me to Credit Counselling Singapore (CCS). The latter had helped me mitigate the situation by summarising my expenses and expenditure thereby showed me my financial strong and weak point. My financial situation was dire; I can easily submit to bankruptcy but I opt to be responsible for my debts. Now I am still struggling to pay back my debt but at least I can see the light. Four years more and I hope to be free of the credit card debts and bank loans of more than S$100k.
I now prefer Debit Card.

CCS is well recognised by the government, the banks and the courts. My advice is if you are having "credit card problems" talk to them first.

I particularly like the bolded statements.
Use your credit facilities wisely.

Motivational Story 02

2009-02-13T11:16:00.006+08:00

Another motivational story to encourage everyone to press on during this tough time.

This was posted by Sharkula on ChannelNewsAsia's Market Talk forum on 12 Feb 2009. Reproduced as follows (link is not posted as CNA deletes threads frequently):

I lost $120,000 in 1997...I recovered everything by 1999 very cham man that time....got home also don't dare to go back (creditors chasing after me)....sleep in park....sleep until 4am...stupid heavy down pour....sleep under hdb void deck....residents call police....nbz.... no money to buy cigarettes....basket have to pick unfinished cigarettes from dustbins to smoke left with $1 in pocket dun dare to use....keep the money to make phonecalls....have to walk from Yishun to Bukit Timah to get money.

Motivational Story 01 (Friends during Recession)

2009-02-13T10:58:00.007+08:00

This was posted by xtreyier on SgForums on 21 Jan 2009. Reproduced from http://sports.sgforums.com/forums/10/topics/345094 as follows:

Friends are the most important people in one's life, someone whom you can relate to, look up to, and confide to, more so when experiencing bad weathers such as this crisis.

A dry shelter and hot soup from the pouring rain warms the heart.

While everyone is affected by the doom and gloom of the recession, many faced it in varying degrees. Some are least affected, and felt more as an irritation, and some totally overwhelmed and left helpless.

For those of us who can get by, we must never abandon the seemingly helpless. While we may not have sums of money to lend, we can still afford a meal or two, a coffee or two, an ear or two to comfort and encourage.

No fellow Singaporean must be left alone in helplessness. We are a civilised society, with the building blocks being our own family, relatives and friends. This recession was not of our making or our mistake. It came out of the blue like a Tsunami wave rushing towards all, overwhelming many.
We must each encourage one another, never to give up on hope, for the reality is that bad times, like good times, dont last. Today, some may be down, but tomorrow they will rise.
This is the natural course of journey in life. And good friends will make that journey better and more meaningful as life is shared.
I remembered during NS days, one of my collegue was sitting on the parapet of a HDB top floor corridor after booking out of camp at night. I and several friends spent 6 hours into the early morning talking him out of jumping because of a failed relationship over his grad girlfriend who ditched him for a brit foreign talent.

We failed our IPPT test a few hours later as we did not have enough sleep and was sentenced to RT training. The pain was real, but certainly not as painful compared to a friend if lost in a suicide.

There was a time when I was down and out, and abandoned by 'friends' and family. I will always remember the indian mamak who pressed a bun into my shivering hands, the chinese construction supervisor who ordered and paid for a plate of chicken rice to me when he saw me drinking plain water with a bun in a coffeeshop, and the Muslim matron who invited me to her home and had dinner with her family, amongst many who were kind to me.

I have a brain, hands and legs, courage and determination to face up and pay for my errors and knew I would succeed again, and when i did, I repaid those kind people many times over.
As much as others condemn us as kiasu people, at heart, we are kind people. And these people are my fellow citizens - Singaporeans. Flawed, imperfect, whiners, seemingly uncaring, but heart always in the right place.
Therefore, dont give up on hope or giving out hope to others. We all will ride out this recession together, stronger as a society as long as no one is suffer alone or left alone. Friendships are all the more important now, whether you are an 8 year old or 80 year old.

Jokes

2009-02-06T23:09:00.001+08:00

叉烧包和空心包去看一个很伤感的电影，为什么只有叉烧包哭了？
因为叉烧包有filling （feeling）

叉烧包后来和豆沙包去看一个很伤感的电影，为什么只有叉烧包哭得比较伤感？
因为他们有不同的 filling （feeling）

小明是喝牛奶长大的，那么请问大明是喝什么长大的？
酒（酒养大名“明”）

一天阿包被杀了，警察很快就找出凶手，请问是谁杀的？
阿豆杀的（豆沙“杀”包）

为什么米粉会说鱼不老实？
因为鱼片“骗”米粉

两个女人面对面冲凉，猜一句成语。
豆奶（斗奶）

Happy姓什么？
Lee （因为：Happily）

Happy是男的还是女的？
Male （因为：Happymeal）

请问人的心是什么颜色的呢？
黄色（因为人心黄黄（人心惶惶）

什么书是任何书局都买不到的？
秘书

狗为什么害怕日光浴？
因为它怕变成热狗

小明只会花钱，天天花很多钱,可最后却成了百万富翁,为什么？
他以前是億萬富翁，千萬富翁

什么动物的头最常被人扭？
水龙（头）

美丽的公主结婚以后就不挂蚊帐了，为什么？
因为她嫁给了青蛙王子

S$144.6m contract awarded for Punggol redevelopment

2009-01-29T00:20:00.001+08:00

SINGAPORE: The Housing and Development Board (HDB) has awarded a S$144.6 million contract to Koh Brothers Building and Civil Engineering Contractor to develop Punggol estate into a premier waterfront town. Plans to revamp Punggol were announced by Prime Minister Lee Hsien Loong at the National Day Rally in August 2007. They include the construction of a 4.2-kilometre waterway which will be connected to Sungei Punggol. Construction of the waterway is scheduled to start in February and complete by the fourth quarter of 2010. Residents in Punggol can look forward to various recreational activities that range from water sports to walks on landscaped promenades along the banks of the waterway. More than 4,000 public flats have already been launched in Punggol. By end-2011, there will be about 23,000 completed flats in the estate. In the longer term, another 21,000 units of public and private housing will be built along the waterway for residents to enjoy waterfront housing in Singapore's latest town.

Densha Otoko

2009-01-01T15:36:00.003+08:00

Densha Otoko is a very funny Japanese show that's supposed to be based on a true story. A bit of intro from wikipedia:

Densha Otoko (電車男, translated as Train Man) is a Japanese movie, television series, manga, novel, and other media, all based on the purportedly true story of a 23-year-old otaku (Japanese geek) who intervened when a drunk man was harassing several women on a train. The otaku ultimately begins dating one of the women.

The event, and the man's subsequent dates with the woman, who became known as "Hermès" (エルメス, Erumesu), was chronicled on the Japanese mega-BBS 2channel. This led to the compilation of the relevant threads in a book, followed by several manga versions, a movie, a theatrical play later released as a DVD, and finally a TV series.

Densha Otoko is a popular example of the "nice guy" class of Japanese geeks who wish to lead normal lives, but are too shy to find a girlfriend, or speak openly anywhere but online. The television series uses a large number of computer-bound extras.

There's a movie and a drama version. I'm watching the drama version now. Here's the starting part of Episode 1 to get you going.

25 Year-Old Beauty Ditches Once-Rich Banker

2008-12-31T01:40:00.008+08:00

Read 25 Year Old Beauty Seeks Rich Banker first if you haven't.

Bloomberg reports that the smart money feels that the credit crunch is likely to result in further marriage / relationship break-ups, as money problems and difficult domestic arrangements just don't go. The news agency quotes Sandra Davis from Mishcon de Reya, who said: 'The credit crunch shows the more sinister side of human nature. When there are problems in a relationship, money papers over the cracks. But when the money is gone, the cracks are visible'.

'Remember me ? I'm the live-wire who went on the prowl in New York's trendy bars and fashionable hang-outs last year in search of a gullible (and very rich) investment banker to keep me in the style I sought to become accustomed to.

Well, after a rigorous selection process (which needed to be concluded speedily in early December as I didn't want to miss out on the customary expensive 'first-Christmas' gift), I finally found my man.

Although not much to look at, he was everything I was seeking in a mate - he was dumb, became instantly besotted with me and was truly loaded! After a few weeks of expensive dinners, luxury goods shopping with his platinum plastic, a few days skiing and quick weekend hops to both Paris and Rome, however, it all went sour. First, I found out that he'd been married before - twice. And his ex-wives and kids (he seemed to have several, although I didn't find out exactly how many as I refused to discuss them) took a substantial part of his disposable income (money which clearly I thought I would have first option on). I almost bailed out then, but worse was to follow. I discovered that he was a mortgage-backed securities trader and, you got it, he got laid off in February!

As my new car hadn't yet arrived ( I knew I should have pressed for it sooner), I was trapped. Forced to spend more time with him as he wasn't working, I was counting the days until the wheels arrived, and I could literally make my getaway. But then he did something really unbelievable - he downgraded my car order from a Porsche 911 Carrera to a Dodge Viper, claiming that he needed to be more careful with his money. I just couldn't believe how selfish he was being. Anyway, needless to say, I had to leave immediately.

So, I'm back on the market. Still 25 years-old (as I have been for the last several years), I'm now targeting lawyers - apparently those specializing in corporate recoveries and shareholder litigation are doing rather well at the moment, so I'm hoping to find my next 'partner' from the profession. A bonus is that lawyers are generally better looking than investment bankers (and slimmer too). The only downside, however, is that they also tend to be a little bit brighter, and I might have to work slightly harder (and be more clever) to obtain my dues. Wish me luck then.....'.

25 Year Old Beauty Seeks Rich Banker

2007-10-14T10:27:00.001+08:00

05/10/2007 following exchange took place on Craigslist - don’t miss the investment banker's response
'What am I doing wrong?’
Okay, I’m tired of beating around the bush. I’m a beautiful (spectacularly beautiful) 25 year old girl. I’m articulate and classy. I’m not from . I’m looking to get married to a guy who makes at least half a million a year. I know how that sounds, but keep in mind that a million a year is middle class in New York City, so I don’t think I’m overreaching at all.

Are there any guys who make 500K or more on this board ? Any wives ? Could you send me some tips ? I dated a business man who made an average of around 200 - 250K. But that’s where I seem to hit a roadblock. $250,000 won’t get me to Central Park West. I know a woman in my yoga class who was married to an investment banker, and lives in Tribeca. She’s not as pretty as I am, nor is she a great genius. So what is she doing right ? How do I get to her level ?

Here are my questions specifically:
- Where do you single rich men hang out ? Give me specifics - bars, restaurants, gyms
- What are you looking for in a mate? Be honest guys, you won’t hurt my feelings
- Is there an age range I should be targeting ?
- Why are some of the women living lavish lifestyles on the so plain? I’ve seen really ‘Plain Jane’ boring types, who have nothing to offer incredibly wealthy guys. Then I’ve seen drop dead gorgeous girls in singles bars in the . What’s the story there ?

- Lawyers, investment bankers, doctors. How much do those guys really make ? And where do the hedge fund guys hang out ?

- How do you rich guys decide on marriage vs. just a girlfriend ? I am looking for MARRIAGE ONLY.
Please hold your insults - I’m putting myself out there in an honest way. Most beautiful women are superficial - at least I’m being up front about it. I wouldn’t be searching for these kind of guys if I wasn’t able to match them - in looks, culture, sophistication, and keeping a nice hearth and home'.

An Investment Banker's Response:

Dear Pers-431649184:

'I read your posting with great interest and have thought meaningfully about your dilemma. I offer the following analysis of your predicament.

Firstly, I’m not wasting your time. I qualify as a guy who fits your bill - that is, I make more than $500K per year. That said, here’s how I see it:

Your offer, from the prospective of a guy like me, is a plain and simple crappy business deal. Here’s why. Cutting through all the B.S., what you suggest is a simple trade: you bring your looks to the party and I bring my money. Fine, simple. But here’s the rub, your looks will fade and my money will likely continue into perpetuity - in fact, it is very likely that my income will increase, but it is an absolute certainty that you won’t be getting any more beautiful!

So, in economic terms, you are a depreciating asset. Not only are you a depreciating asset, however, your depreciation accelerates! Let me explain - you’re 25 now and will likely remain pretty hot for the next 5 years, but less so each year. Then the fade begins in earnest. By 35 - stick a fork in you!

So, in Wall Street terms, we'd call you a trading position - not a buy and hold…hence the rub…marriage. It doesn’t make good business sense to 'buy you' (which is what you’re asking) - so I’d rather lease. In case you think I’m being cruel, I would say the following: if my money were to go away, so would you - so when your beauty fades I need an out too. It’s as simple as that. So the deal that makes sense for me is dating, not marriage.

Separately, I was taught early in my career about efficient markets. So, I wonder why a girl as 'articulate, classy and spectacularly beautiful' as you has been unable to find your sugar daddy. I find it hard to believe that, if you are as gorgeous as you say you are, your $500K man hasn’t found you - if only for a tryout.

By the way, you could always find a way to make your own money - and then we wouldn’t need to have this difficult conversation.

With all that said, I must say you’re going about it the right way. Classic 'pump and dump'. I hope this is helpful, and if you want to enter into some sort of lease, please let me know'.

Response to investment banker:

'Ah! But I am an depreciating asset all right (for that matter, you are too - but your cash flow stream more than overcompensates for the toxicity of the future tummy expansion, and contraction of the hair). But the depreciating asset is a convertible one with two embedded options:

The first option is for conversion to a wife, preferably before the day that the hair / tummy factor becomes less than positive and cashflow benefits become more important. If you do not take up that wife-conversion option, then the expanding gut and thinning hair will require a constantly and exponentially increasing stream of invested earnings to attract young chicks.

The second option is that you have a put option on a baby (which is preferably contingent on the first option being exercised), safe in the knowledge that good genes will be passed on. You have to admit, the main reason why you investment bankers are so attractive is because you can make money. However, we have established information that those money-making genes do not travel very well. My good looks will probably be passed on though.

So, for an upfront investment in this depreciating asset will, in the long run, make your overall yield curve positive.

Hat-seller joke

2007-10-04T22:47:00.001+08:00

A hat-seller who was passing by a forest decided to take a nap under oneof the trees, so he left his whole basket of hats by the side.

A few hours later, he woke up and realized that all his hats were gone.He looked up and to his surprise, the tree was full of monkeys andthey had taken all his hats. he sits down and thinks of how he can get the hats down

While thinking he started to scratch his head. The next moment, the monkeys were doing the same.Next, he took down his own hat, the monkeys did exactly the same. An idea came to him, he took his hat and threw it on the floor and the monkeys did that too. So he finally managed to get all his hats back.

Fifty years later, his grandson, also became a hat-seller and had heard this monkey story from his grandfather. One day, just like his grandfather, he passed by the same forest. It was very hot, and he took a nap under the same tree and left the hats on the floor. He woke up and realized that all his hats were taken by the monkeys on the tree.

He remembered his grandfather's words, started scratching his head and the monkeys followed. He took down his hat and fanned himself and again the monkeys followed

Now, very convinced of his grandfather's idea, he threw his hat on the floor but to his surprise the monkeys still held on to all the hats. Then one monkey climbed down the tree,grabbed the hat on the floor, gave him a slap and said.............

Guess What????????

"You think only you have a grandfather?"

Man and Woman

2007-09-29T01:01:00.001+08:00

HER DIARY -
I asked him what was wrong - he said, "Nothing." I asked him if it was my fault that he was up set. He said it had nothing to do with me and not to worry.On the way home I told him that I loved him, he simply smiled and kept driving. I can't explain his behaviour; I don't know why he didn't say, "I love you, too." When we got home I felt as if I had lost him, as if he wanted nothing to Do with me anymore. He just sat there and watched TV. he seemed distant and absent.Finally I decided to go to bed. About 10 minutes later he came to bed. I decided that I could not take it anymore, so I decided to confront him with the situation but he had fallen asleep.I started crying and cried until I too fell asleep. I don't know what to do. I'm almost sure that his thoughts are with someone else.My life is a disaster.

HIS DIARY -
Today Man U lost to Arsenal. Shit.

Jokes

2007-09-17T00:32:00.000+08:00

The Prime Minister of China called President Bush to console him after the attack on the Pentagon: "I'm sorry to hear about the attack.

It is a very big tragedy. But in case, you are missing any documents from the Pentagon, we have copies of everything."

===============================================

Musharraf calls Bush on 11th Sept 2001:

Musharraf: Mr President, I would like to express my condolences to you. It is a real tragedy. So many people, such great buildings... I would like to ensure that we had nothing in connection with that..

Bush: What buildings? What people??

Musharraf: Oh, and what time is it in America now?

Bush: It's eight in the morning.

Musharraf: Oops...I will call back in an hour!

===============================================

Vajpayee and Bush are sitting in a bar. A guy walks in and asks the barman,

"Isn't that Bush and Vajpayee?"

The barman says "Yep, that's them." So the guy walks over and says,

"Hello, what are you guys doing?"

Bush says, "We're planning world war 3"

The guy says, "Really? What's going to happen?"

and Vajpayee says, "Well, we're going to kill 14 million Pakistanis and one bicycle repairman."

And the guy exclaimed, "A bicycle repairman?!!!"

Vajpayee turns to Bush and says, "See, I told you no-one would worry about the 14 million Pakistanis!"

===============================================

*Pakistani on the moon:*

Q: What do you call 1 Pakistani on the moon?

A: Problem...

Q: What do you call 10 Pakistanis on the moon?

A: Problem...

Q: What do you call a 100 Pakistanis on the moon?

A: Problem...

Q: What do you call ALL the Pakistanis on the moon?

A: ....... Problem Solved!!!

===============================================

A man is taking a walk in Central park in New York .

Suddenly he sees a little girl being attacked by a pit bull dog.

He runs over and starts fighting with the dog. He succeeds in killing the dog and saving the girl's life.

A policeman who was watching the scene walks over and says: "You are a hero, tomorrow you can read it in all the newspapers: "Brave New Yorker saves the life of little girl".

The man says: "But I am not a New Yorker!"

Oh then it will say in newspapers in the morning: Brave American saves life of little girl" the policeman answers.

"But I am not an American!" - says the man. Oh, what are you then?"

The man says: "I am a Pakistani!"

The next day the newspapers say: "A Terrorist kills innocent American dog".

Funny Thai Commercial

2007-09-14T23:21:00.000+08:00

Royston Tan Cut (Singapore Censorship)

2007-09-03T20:01:00.000+08:00

Namewee New Album

2007-09-03T19:59:00.000+08:00

Nice rap song from Namewee, the talented Malaysian singer/song writer.

Interesting Story

2007-08-31T08:32:00.000+08:00

One evening last week, my wife and I were getting into bed. Well, the passion starts to heat up, and she eventually says, "I don't feel like it, I just want you to hold me."

I said "WHAT????!!! What was that?!" So she says the words that every husband on the planet dreads to hear: "You're just not in touch with my emotional needs as a woman enough for me to satisfy your physical needs as a man."

She responded to my puzzled look by saying, "Can't you just love me for who I am and not what I do for you in the bedroom?" Realizing that nothing was going to happen that night I went to sleep.

The very next day I opted to take the day off from work to spend time with her. We went out to a nice lunch and then went shopping at a big, big unnamed department store.

I walked around with her while she tried on several different very expensive outfits. She couldn't decide which one to take so I told her we'd just buy them all.

She wanted new shoes to compliment her new clothes, so I said "let's get a pair for each outfit."

We went on to the jewelry dept..where she picked out a pair of diamond earrings.
Let me tell you -- she was so excited. She must have thought I was one wave short of a shipwreck.

I started to think she was testing me because she asked for a tennis bracelet when she doesn't even know how to play tennis I think I threw her for a loop when I said, "That's fine, honey."

She was almost nearing sexual satisfaction from all of the excitement; smiling with excited anticipation she finally said,"I think this is all dear, let's go to the cashier".

I could hardly contain myself when I blurted out, "No honey, I don't feel like it."

Her face just went completely blank as her jaw dropped with a baffled WHAT???!!!"

I then said, "Really honey! I just want you to HOLD this stuff for a while. You're just not in touch with my financial needs as a man enough for me to satisfy your shopping needs as a woman."

And just when she had this look like she was going to kill me I added, "Why can't you just love me for who I am and not for The Things I buy you?"

Apparently, I'm not having sex that day either.

Women love bastards

2007-08-04T12:44:00.001+08:00

Once upon a time, Cinderella was so horny she took Pinochio between her legs and shouted,"LIE TO ME BASTARD,LIE!"

Ok, now we know why women love bastards who lie. :D

Outing to Vivocity and Labrador Park

2007-07-22T16:20:00.000+08:00

Yesterday, I went out with Bernard to Vivocity for lunch, and some shopping and walking activities. He shopped. I walked. :D

After that, we went to the nearby Labrador Park for photo taking. Labrador Park is supposed to be one of the most scenic places in Singapore. My impression of the place is that it is a cross between Bukit Timah nature reserve and East Coast Park. I was surprised that there is quite a lot of leisure seekers there, as it is not very convenient to reach the place... public transport wise. Still, Labrador Park is quite peaceful with sea waves lapping up the shore.

Vivomart

2007-07-22T16:05:00.000+08:00

At Vivocity, we went into Vivomart as Bernard wanted to buy some fruits.
One of Bernard's favourite fruits... Mangosteen.

This gave me a sudden thot:

山竹兄，我不忍心让你妻离子散。我把你们全部买回去。。。
吃掉！

And the Rabbit is White again

2007-07-21T09:24:00.000+08:00

From CNA,

The taint of formaldehyde has been washed off White Rabbit Creamy Candy as tests done here revealed that those sold in Singapore are safe for consumption.

The tests were conducted by the Agri-Food and Veterinary Authority (AVA) on Wednesday after four products were withdrawn by the Philippines' Food and Drug Agency for possible formaldehyde contamination. The products are White Rabbit Creamy Candy, Milk Candy, Balron Grape Biscuits and Yong Kang Foods Grape Biscuits.

Formaldehyde is a cancer-causing chemical that is not permitted for use as a food additive. It is also used in resin production and is well-known as a preservative and embalming fluid.

Heng ah!!! White Rabbit candy was one of my fav candies during my childhood days.

If it failed AVA's food safety test, then I'll be wondering if my IQ is much lower than what it was meant to be. But then, my dear White Rabbit candy passed AVA's test. Yay!

Now I'm left wondering what else caused my low IQ? :(

Tagline

2007-07-20T21:37:00.000+08:00

Even if you're late for take off, you can still catch the helicopter.

But only if you're Jackie Chan. :D

The Hunger Site

2007-07-16T19:58:00.002+08:00

Added the link to the hunger site onto this blog.

I used to support it, whenever I had the time. The site was started by two American social entrepreneurs. It's both meaningful in purpose, and also provides the web site owners with a small stream of income. A win win situation for all. :)

This is called social entrepreneurship. The Spore govt is trying to encourage this relatively new and little known form of entrepreneurship.

Funny Video

2007-07-16T19:58:00.001+08:00

Pole dancing doggie!!!

Funny video

2007-07-16T19:44:00.001+08:00

Funny video titled "Office Pranks: Humping"
Watch it! :)

"Love" is Singapore's favourite English word: survey

2007-07-14T00:42:00.000+08:00

From CNA,

SINGAPORE: According to an online survey by the British Council, "love" is Singapore's favourite English word.

This, along with Singapore's other top six words, was revealed on Wednesday.

After "love", "cool" is the next favourite word, scoring over 1,200 votes.

"What I think most Singaporeans will use would be 'cool'. And everything can be cool, like your dressing is cool... going for a vacation will be cool... everything can be cool," said one Singaporean.

The top words were picked from a list of 60.

I didn't know that Love is Singapore's favourite until today. I had thot our fav word should be "I". =)

Audio box removed

2007-07-14T00:00:00.000+08:00

Removed the audio box.
Nice song, but I dun wanna hear it over and over again. :P

Atheists are Illogical?!

2007-07-13T23:57:00.001+08:00

Found an interesting discussion on Atheism vs Christianity by accident.
It's at IIDB forum

Some gems as follows:-

Chris Weimer states that:

666 actually referred to the subserviance of Satan to God, who was 777, yet accounted for the pride of Satan twice Jesus which was 2x333 = 666. Oh, and I made this up on the spot, but it looks good, right?

Plognark replies:

As logical as anything else christian ;)

Kitten and his box

2007-07-13T23:55:00.000+08:00

Awww... cute kittens playing with a tissue box.

New refrigerator

2007-07-12T22:22:00.000+08:00

The old fridge killed itself on Monday. Bad time to fail, coz I'm a bit low on cash at the moment. But since it died, I may as well get a newer and more cost-efficient fridge.

On Tuesday, I went with my mum, my younger sister and her husband to the nearby Courts megastore. And the new fridge arrived today! =)

We got the Fisher & Paykel E331TRG, which looks like this:-

It's quite spacious at 329 litres, but it consumes even less energy than the smaller Hitachi R-Z307AMS fridge (250 litres), which is also awarded 2 ticks (max is 3) for energy efficiency.

The E331TRG's annual energy consumption is only 550kwh vs 639kwh for the Hitachi model. Amazing.

Browsing thru the National Climate Change Committee website, I discover that this energy efficient fridge consumes much less energy than a similar-sized normal fridge (stated annual energy consumption approx 1400+kwh).

See? I'm doing my part to save Gaia, and hopefully, I get to see a lower utility bill next month. Hehehe... =)

Home is where the heart is

2007-07-11T20:34:00.000+08:00

There is some heated debate on the CNA forum in view of the recent property boom.

A number of people seemed biased against Seng Kang/Punggol area, coz it is too far from the city centre, and it is not fully developed yet.

This ELLL_DORADO forumer keeps saying "Seng Kang sarks" and also dragged the even less developed Punggol area into the mud too. He persists in his behavior, even after repeated rebuttals by a good number of people. Hahaha!

I'm thinking he's probably a loser who had unrealistic views, or did not do his research properly, and he probably bought a house in Seng Kang in the past, then sold it at a loss, and moved to the more expensive Tiong Bahru area (he claims to be staying there now). So he thinks the world owes him a living now. Caveat emptor! Buyer beware! Know what you're getting yourself into, and take responsibilities for your own decisions. =)

Another forumer, chelsea fan, made the following comments, which I find very insightful:-

Bishan was an eerie estate when it first launched in 1987 with graveyards all around near RI and plenty of empty land despite the location.

With a stroke of a pen by the planners , the estate become [one] of the [most] sought after with the highest income earners amongst all HDB estates.

All the future leaders gather in Junction 8 in school uniforms having lunch or doing projects in library.

Punggol & Sengkang will be next lifestyles' living estate with tranquillity in the near future.

I particularly like the line "the future leaders gather in Junction 8 in school uniforms having lunch or doing projects in library". Funny and yet true. Hahaha!

When Punggol develops fully into a sea side town, I'm sure it'll be nicer than East Coast Park. Under the Master Plan, Punggol will have a lot more facilities here. Club Houses, Punggol Marina, Golf driving range, Sports Centre, Sea food restaurants along the coast, and a LRT system that takes you all the way to the sea front!

At the end of the day... Home is where the heart is.
It is not an investment to be measured in dollars and cents. :)

Audio Box

2007-07-09T11:50:00.001+08:00

I added an audio box to the side of my blog... it looks like half a cassette player, coz there is not enough space to display the entire picture.

The audio player code was stolen from Stephy Chua's blog, coz I was too lazy to register one for myself. So it's likely that the music being played will be dictated by Miss Stephy Chua, n I may remove/replace the audio box in future. Lolx.

As of now, the music is:-
Title: "What else is there?"
Artist: Royksopp

Lyrics
******
It was me on that road
But you couldn`t see me
Too many lights out, but nowhere near here

It was me on that road
Still you couldn`t see me
And then flashlights and explosions

Roads are getting nearer
We cover distance but not together
I am the storm and I am the wonder
And the flashlights, nightmares
And sudden explosions

I don't know what more to ask for
I was given just one wish

It's about you and the sun
A morning run
The story of my maker
What I have and what I ache for

I`ve got a golden ear
And cut and I spear
What else is there?
Roads are getting nearer
We cover distance still not together

If I am the storm if I am the wonder
Will I have flashlights, nightmares, sudden explosions

There is no room where I can go and
You`ve got secrets too

I don`t know what more to ask for
I was given just one wish

Job Interview

2007-07-07T16:13:00.000+08:00

My fingers are painful again.. been doing too much typing on the keyboard, coz I need to update the web design of a newly acquired website. Maybe I should get another job, where I don't need to do any keyboard related activities. Hehehe...

Hmm... anyway, if I am to get a new job, what do I say at the interview?

At Job Interview
***************
Interviewee walks in. Interviewer adjust old man glasses, and looks at Interviewee with despise.

Interviewer: Hmm... your school results are lousy, and your job history is so so only.

Stephen: Mr X, please look at paragraphs 1, 3 and 7 on page 1 of my resume again. Please also refer to paragraphs 4 and 5 on page 2. Page 10 contains a summary of the highlights of my award winning studies and outstanding career, which includes leadership roles in large scale national and regional projects.

Interviewer: Hmm.. really? Ok, erm.. what do you think you can contribute to this company?

Stephen: Hmm... I've seen your products before.. I think they suck.. And on my way into your office, I've looked around the company, and I think your corporate culture and your staff sucks too. If you don't hire me, your company has no future! Very likely, it will close shop SOON.

And thus, Interviewee gets hired as CEO for 10K/mth.
Interviewer and Interviewee works happily ever after.

Until the company closed shop SOONER than expected... that is...
Again, the Interviewee has to update his resume to include another entry for his outstanding job history --- previously CEO of a large Multi-National Company.

Interviewee goes for another job interview. :P

Summer Sunshine

2007-07-01T23:57:00.000+08:00

Woohoo! I had my sun tan today... finally!
Was at Punggol beach for 1 hour... listening to radio, and playing games on my handphone.
My back is kind of painful now, but my skin doesn't seem to be peeling.
---

And while I was there, I caught hold of a curious sight. A bunch of people were rowing a boat, and their movements was synchronized by shouts of "Row! Row!". There was another similar boat following behind this first one, but they're too far apart to be captured on the same photo.
Hmm... perhaps this is a sign of the times... with oil prices crossing USD70 / barrel, the common people are now resorting to good old arm power instead of oil-guzzling motor power.

How nostalgic!

Love Development Life Cycle

2007-07-01T23:30:00.001+08:00

1) Love was sweet and berri romantic! Yummy!

2) Then, there was doubt...

3) And broken promises...

4) And finally, love turns into hate.

Notice how the words for hate is much much bigger than the others? Interesting how people got more energy when they're hating, then when they're loving... :X

Correction fluid was used in the 1st three photos, but I don't know what was used for the big "I hate everyone" graffiti. Hmm.. maybe I'm technologically backward compared to this new generation of kids. But then, I was a good kid, ok? I never drew any graffiti in my life, so it is alright not to be very updated on such matters. =)

New hand phone

2007-06-26T17:22:00.000+08:00

I got a new handphone yesterday evening.

It's a Sony Ericcson K510i.
Yes! It's a free phone from SingTel with a 2 yr contract.
And Yes! I am that poor! :D

Tokyo Drift

2007-06-20T23:58:00.001+08:00

If you watched Tokyo Drift, you'll know it's kinda cool to see cars skidding on the roads.

And if you can't afford a flashy car, here's something more affordable! :P

Cynthia Nursalim

2007-06-12T23:54:00.000+08:00

I saw Cynthia Nursalim on TV today. I feel that she's both pretty and talented. Rare combination, ok? She's just graduated from Raffles Design Institute's Advanced Diploma course.

Here's a photo of Cynthia at her school's Fashion Show, which was held for the Fashion Design graduates to showcase their talents. She won the 2nd-prize!

The event was a star-studded night with celebrity judges, Mr Daniel Boey (Owner of Daniel Boey Production), Ms Madeleine Wong (Winner of Asian Young Fashion Designer Award2003 and co-owner of POSSE), Ms Mabel Teo (Executive Account Manager, Cotton Incorporated) and Mr Desmond Yang (Winner of Smirnoff International Fashion Awards (Singapore) 1998 and owner of Abyzz) judging the Advanced Diploma Fashion Design collection.

The Replacement Gold Fishes

2007-06-11T23:39:00.000+08:00

It's been a busy week for me.

Originally, I have 2 projects to complete. Out of sheer coincidence, I suddenly have another 2 computer systems to set up. So it's like... when I'm free, I'm very free... but when I'm busy, I'm very busy. Anyway, I've completed setting up the computers, and I still got one week left to complete the 2 projects.

I realised that the water in my house's fish tank is getting murky, and the gold fishes look listless. My mum usually maintains the fish tank, but she is overseas with my sister. So I decided to take a break from work, and clean up the fish tank! =)

I gently scrubbed the sides and bottom of the fish tank with my bare hands to dislodge the layer of slimy material. After that, I disturbed the residual material lying at the bottom of the fish tank, and use a container to scoop out the dirty water together with any floating material. I did all this, while the gold fishes are still swimming happily in the tank, until the water level is relatively low. After that, I fill up the fish tank with the water from a pail that was left for 2 hours to adjust to room temperature.

However, 2 hours after cleaning, I realised that the resulting fish tank water was even murkier than before I started. O_O" Just when I was wondering what to do... I realised that the fish tank had a water filtering system. I activated it, and soon, the water was clean and clear again. *phew!*

If the gold fishes had died from the dirty waters, I may need to shoot and direct a new movie called "The Replacement Gold Fishes", before my mum and sister returns from their overseas trip (of course!). Incidentally, Punggol has many suitable places to bury dead gold fishes in secret. Heheehe! :X

Punggol Seaside Trip

2007-05-19T23:44:00.001+08:00

I cycled down to Punggol Point today, hoping to do some sun tanning. But when I arrived, the sky had turned cloudy, so I settled for some photo taking instead.

This is what Punggol Point jetty looks like from a distance.

Some birds flying away.

I saw a police patrol boat.

It saw me too.

The patrol boat keeping a safe distance from me. Am I that unpopular?

View of Malaysia's Pasir Gudang port.

A kelong. Old world charm.

A mobile fishing station. I'm so envious!

Saw this man nearby. Omg! He's holding a spade. Post-crime scene clean up? I fled. :D

Punggol Point may look deserted, but there's actually quite a number of people along the shoreline.

See? More people.

Looking back towards Punggol Point jetty.

Looking forward. I live in one of the flats that you can see in the distance.

Coney Island. Do the sea waves look fantastic?
No photoshop, ok? Just great photography skills. =D

Punggol Seaside Trip 2

2007-05-19T23:41:00.001+08:00

On my way back to collect my bicycle, I saw a MediaCorp TV starlet --- Chen Chu Xuan!!! She was enjoying the sea breeze near the Punggol jetty area, with at least one of her friends. There were a few other teenagers sitting nearby, but I'm not sure if they know each other.

I would have taken her photos, but my digital camera was out of battery. Tough luck, guys. But this means that she probably lives in the north east sector, because Punggol Point is quite ulu right now, and so the visitors are usually nearby residents.

Chen Chu Xuan's photo. She is the girl in white halter neck attire.

Rain rain go away

2007-05-19T01:39:00.000+08:00

Hmm... it seems to be raining, whenever I want to go out for the past few weeks. Or maybe it's just my bad luck that causes the rain clouds to follow me.

I've been craving to get a sun tan, but it keeps raining... From April until now, there doesn't seem to be a good day for basking in the sun shine. This kind of weather really makes me miss summer.

Programmer's development life cycle

2007-05-14T19:39:00.000+08:00

Was thinking about my development life cycle...

1) I was born to be a programmer.

2) And I aspired to be the best programmer.

3) And now, I work as a programmer. *sob!*

Cactie!!!

2007-05-14T18:26:00.001+08:00

Online pets!!! I don't usually go for these kind of stuff, but I saw an online pet on this blog http://woaixiongxiong.blogspot.com/ . Her online pet is just so cute that I must have my own too! *blush*

So "Hello World!" My online pet is called Cactie! It's the green colour plant residing at the side of my blog. It's so so so cute, ain't it? :D

Solution for Singnet Problem with Blogspot

2007-05-12T12:38:00.000+08:00

For the past 4 days or so, I'm experiencing some problems with BlogSpot. At the 'create post' page, the page layout is out of alignment, and some of the icons are unclickable, so I can't change font colour, style...etc.

After some investigations, this problem appears to come from my Internet Service Provider --- SingNet! Wierd eh? Lolx.
Well, here's the solution for SingNet users:-

Manual proxy settings need to be applied on web browser.

* For IE 7.0 & below:

Tools -> Internet Options
Click on "Connections" page tab
Click on "LAN Settings" button (if you are using Broadband)
Check "Use a proxy server for your LAN ..." checkbox
Click on "Advanced" button
Under HTTP type, input "proxy.singnet.com.sg" for proxy address and "8080" for port
Click on "OK" button 3 times to confirm changes

* For FF 2.0::

Tools -> Options
Click on "Advanced" tab
Click on "Network" page tab
From the "Connection" frame, click on "Settings" button
Select "Manual proxy configuration" option
Under HTTP proxy, input "proxy.singnet.com.sg" and "8080" for port

Now, all SingNet users can use Blogspot normally!
See? My colours are back!

You're 13? What's your bust size?

2007-05-06T16:48:00.000+08:00

Newspaper headlines "You're 13? What's your bust size?"
Men prowl Internet chatrooms and lure young girls into meeting them for sex. Cheryl Tan poses as a 13-year-old schoolgirl and gets one indecent proposal after another.

May 06, 2007 The Straits Times

WITHIN four minutes of introducing himself in a local Internet relay chatroom meant for teenagers, Aauarius asked to feel my breasts. Even after knowing that I was a 13-year-old schoolgirl, he asked for my height, weight, waist measurement and size of my 'top'. Claiming his real name was Eric, 22, he offered to take me shopping and to lunch - both at his expense. 'I treat you everything tomorrow,' he promised. But I had to let him 'feel feel' me.

Eric was just one of 90 men who messaged me within minutes of entering an Internet chatroom. Even after I said that I was 13, the lewd offers still came thick and fast. These men did not seem worried that, under the law, it is illegal to have sex with a girl under the age of 16. The punishment for statutory rape is severe - the culprit will be jailed at least eight years and given a minimum 12 strokes of the cane. Despite this, the number of men reported to the police for having sex with underage girls has shot up over the last six years. Last year, the police received 217 reports of men who had sex with underage girls, almost double the 114 cases in 2001.
Just last month, three men aged between 18 and 23 were in court for having sex with a minor. The girl was only 12. The laws will be toughened soon to deal with such paedophiles.

Psychiatrist Brian Yeo said men who target young girls do so to 'feel in control'. He said they get a 'thrill' and consider it a 'conquest' when a young girl gives in to their request. Psychologist Daniel Koh added that because the young girls are sexually inexperienced, these men think they are 'easier to please'. But not all girls are that innocent, said Dr Yeo, and some crave the attention these men lavish. 'They find it fun to have men go ga-ga over their photos.'

Even though I did not have a photo to show the men who were chatting me up, many still ended up proposing a secret rendezvous. Finding out that I was only 13 did not deter 27 men from doing so. Only 10 dropped out of the chat after I said that I was 13. I could barely keep up with the chat requests and respond to everyone.

Some started slow. They made small talk before moving on to more personal questions such as what underwear I was wearing and whether I had any sexual experience. Others asked for sex from the word go. One man's opening line was: 'Want sex and quick cash?' Another guy wanted to know how short my school skirt was. A few asked for my vital statistics. One man tried to lure me out by saying that a pink bikini and denim skirt would be mine to keep if I went to his home. Some also asked if I had 'petted' before and described in graphic detail what that meant.

One man, Andy, even boasted about his experience with a 15-year-old girl at a hotel. The 26-year-old, claimed to be 'skilful' at sex and promised that I would feel no pain.

Darren, whose pick-up line was to ask if I was keen on earning $1,500, called me 'girl'. He asked for my age, my school, and why I was not in class on a Friday morning. For that amount of money, all he wanted from me was to 'accompany' him.

Going by the nickname Lucifer, the 27-year-old who claimed to be an advertising manager said he wanted us to 'chill out' together at his home. He asked to meet me at a playground near the HDB flat he lived in. He offered to pay for my cab fare to his place, which would have come up to about $20. He said we could have breakfast and watch comedy movies. He gave me his mobile number. When I got there and called him, he asked me again if I was really 13. While I waited on a slide, Darren circled the playground several times. He then disappeared behind a block of flats and hid behind a pillar. My phone rang - it was him. He claimed he did not see me at the playground and asked to meet at the lift lobby instead. When I faked unfamiliarity with the area, he finally approached me. Wearing spectacles, a bright red sweater and black bermudas, the first thing he asked me was: 'Are you the girl I chatted with online?' When I identified myself as a reporter, Darren immediately denied knowing that I was 13. Even as he tried to inch away from me, he insisted that his motive was purely innocent. He 'really just wanted to watch movies' with me at his flat.

Two hours later, a woman who claimed to be Darren's girlfriend called to say that it had been a case of 'mistaken identity'. She claimed that someone had impersonated Darren and posted his mobile phone number on the Net.

Another online chatter, who arranged to meet me at a playground in Bishan, lied about his age. Claiming to be 19, Josh wanted to 'cuddle for a bit' in his home. He later changed tack and said he was actually a 28-year-old basketball coach who trained schoolgirls as young as eight. To entice me to meet him, Josh promised to take me to lunch and shopping at Bishan Junction 8 before going to his home. Dressed in a white polo T-shirt and Adidas basketball shorts, he was calm when I said I was a reporter. Lighting up a cigarette, Josh said he wanted only to walk around with me to 'pass the time'. He also claimed that he had set up the meeting to recruit female basketballers.

The third man who coaxed me out promised a massage and the chance to watch movies which I was 'not supposed to watch yet'. Roger suggested meeting in Hotel 81 to 'get comfortable' and 'take shelter from the afternoon sun'. He brought along a laptop to play his 'movies'. Towering over me, the 32-year-old who claimed to be a computer systems engineer said he has met girls of all ages and that it was only 'for fun'. Roger did not believe I was a reporter. He continued to call me after we parted, asking if I was available to talk to him. After all those were ignored, he sent the SMS message: 'Can't chat anymore?'

tcheryl@sph.com.sg

My say:
It's a scary world out there. Behind all the smiles and greetings that we get from the friendly people we meet in the schools, offices, shopping malls and even churches. How many of them will take advantage of you when they have a chance to?

So sweet little girls, if you want to meet strangers from the online world, remember... always meet them at crowded public places in broad daylight, where there are lots of bright sunshine, and with Parental Guidance.

Hmm... but in this day and age, where gays are increasingly open about their sexuality, and more bold about posting free blow job offers on IRC and websites.... I suppose my advice is applicable to cute little boys too.

Another 3 charities de-registered

2007-05-02T23:05:00.000+08:00

Coming after the NKF scandal, the Commissioner of Charities (COC) has de-registered another 3 charities. The 3 charities are set up set up by the same man, and the COC has discovered serious irregularities and suspicious transactions in the administration of the charities. These are the Children of Singapore Foundation, Children’s Lukaemia Foundation Limited, and Club Sunshine Limited (previously known as Kids-In-Distress Foundation Limited).

Another organisation, the Kidney Fund Organisation (KFO), will not be granted charity status by the COC. The COC felt, after careful scrutiny, that the organisation's intentions were not exclusively charitable as the bulk of donations, amounting to some $110,000 in 2006, did not benefit charitable causes.

It is sad to know that kind hearted people's good will are being abused, but having all these cases of abuse should not stop people from donating generously to charity. After all, there are real people out there who are working hard for charitable causes, and there are real unfortunate people who really need to be helped. So don't stop giving, people! :)

Singapore fastest moving city in the world

2007-05-02T19:15:00.000+08:00

Newspaper headlines "Study rates Singapore fastest moving city in the world" by Wong Mun Wai, Channel NewsAsia Posted: 02 May 2007 1745 hrs

SINGAPORE: Singapore has emerged as the fastest moving city in the world...literally.

The British Council conducted a study of the walking speed of pedestrians. And it is official - Singaporeans are the world's fastest walkers!

The British Council carried out the research in 32 cities including London and New York. It calculated the average time taken for people to walk a distance of over 18 metres (60 feet).

Singaporeans clocked the shortest time of just over 10 seconds (10.55 seconds). This was followed by Copenhagen (10.82 seconds) and Madrid (10.89 seconds). New York is at number 8 and surprisingly, London ranked outside the top 10. The slowest in the study was a city in Malawi - at more than 31 seconds (31.60 seconds.

The British Council says people's walking speed is a reliable measure of the pace of life in a city. On average, people are walking about 10 per cent faster now, compared to the early 1990s when it last conducted a similar study. But for Singapore, the pace of life has jumped 30 per cent. - CNA/yy

It's official, Singapore is now the fastest paced city in the world!

I remember Hong Kong people used to be known as the fastest walkers, but now, we have that honour. Well, no choice, we have to keep our corporate slaves busy to maintain our first world city standards.

Dating sites for farmers

2007-04-30T12:43:00.000+08:00

Today, I happen to chance upon a msn article on online dating. Yes, "chance upon". Really!!!

The article mentioned http://www.hotenough.org for attractive, fit singles who "deserve an above-average dating pool". Hey, that's me! I'm attractive. All the barn animals love me! And I'm fit... me ish cowboy, remember? But after fiddling with their website, I highly, seriously, suspiciously, jealously think that their website got some problem. I can't get past the first page! Hmm... :(

Anyway, I am surprised that in this high-tech urbanized world, there is actually a special dating site for farmers like me! Yippee! My dating life still got hope. I MAY NOT DIE A VIRGIN!!! *ahem!* Eh, I mean... good good, there are actually some considerate web masters around. God bless the people at http://www.farmersonly.com. Hallelujah!

p/s: For the folks who are wondering what browser I'm using... well, I am using IE7. Personally, I think the new IE7 is great, so you guys are either technologically backward, or you are using the over-hyped fire fox browsers. Go to http://technotebook.blogspot.com and get a technology upgrade! :P

Milk! We want milk!

2007-04-29T01:41:00.000+08:00

Personally, I'm not a boob person, and I've never understood why other men go gaga over big boobs... until an idea struck me during a conversation today!

Many men like big boobs. By evolution theory, this fact suggests that big boobs somehow provides an advantage in the survival of the human race. Scientists theorize that men are supposed to like big boobs, as bigger boobs are an indication of good health. It also occurred to me that many human civilizations started off as normadic tribes. Milk contains many nutritions, and is a staple food for the normads.

And imagine... just imagine... you and your woman survived an air crash, and it looks like you two will be stuck on a remote island for a long time. You look around for food, and the first thing you see are the big milk jugs on your woman. Ta da! Emergency rations! :PpppPppp
"In case of emergency, break bra and suck nipples"

Just pluck some leaves from the trees to feed the woman, and you two will have an endless supply of milk until someone rescues you, or you die of old age, whichever occurs first.

By now, the feminists must be indignant and ask "Hey! Why can't we just survive on tree leaves and grass alone?" Well... babes, leaves and grass are just not very nutritious. Long term consumption will result in mal-nutrition, so we have to supplement with milk. Look at the normads. They got plenty of leaves and grass where they live, but they don't eat those. Normads feed their cows and goats with grass, before they harvest the milk for consumption. Get the idea now?

Therefore, respected ladies and gentlemen of the scientific community, we can conclude that big milk jugs are a wonderful source of emergency food that helps to ensure survival of our species. Now, let us view men who like boobs in a new light, and applaud them for their contributions to mankind. :D

Met an old friend

2007-04-27T19:41:00.000+08:00

Yesterday, I was on my way home from Pasir Ris, when I was pleasantly surprised to meet Jerome on the bus. For the clueless, Jerome is my secondary school mate, and we stay in neighbouring HDB blocks in Punggol. We updated each other on how we are doing, and had a good chat about the current generation of kids vs our generation, as well as our parents' generation.

While we were walking through the park to our flats, a cockroach scurried across our paths. Jerome went "啊！小强！", and we both siam out of the cockroach's path. That was mighty cute. Brought back many happy memories of my secondary school days. Hahaha! My secondary school mates are generally nice people. In those days, it's all about friendship and team spirit. Be nice to people. No bullying. No cursing and swearing. No disrespect to the teachers. And please remember to wear your tie on Mondays, even when there is no assembly. See? We're nice friendly folks.

Bring in the SAF pilots!

2007-04-25T22:52:00.000+08:00

Newspaper headlines "SIA's latest offer in A380-pilot wage dispute rejected" by Hasnita A Majid, Channel NewsAsia Posted: 25 April 2007 1720 hrs

Summary as follows:
Pilots from the Air Line Pilots' Association - Singapore (ALPA-S) requested for more pay for pilots flying the new A380 fleet. ALPA-S argued that a pilot should be paid according to how accountable he is and the level of responsibility he shoulders. So the bigger the aircraft - the more passengers it carries - and thus more pay for the pilot. In this case, since the A380 is bigger and more expensive - valued at US$295 million - and will carry more passengers, the pilots’ pay should also reflect that, according to ALPA-S. This request has been rejected by the SIA.

I say, fire them all! We should get our SAF pilots to fly instead.

SAF pilots can perform stunts like barrel rolls, upside down flying and high-degree banks at Changi Airport. This is sure to attract more tourists to Singapore. Besides that, air safety will be greatly improved as SAF pilots are also well trained in crash-landing and enemy fire evasion! All these and more for mere NSF pay. It's a good deal !!! :P

Bra Code

2007-04-25T20:01:00.000+08:00

Received this humourous email from a friend. And in the Singaporean spirit of "Good things must share", I am hereby posting the pictures here. See? I'm such a nice guy.

Punggol living

2007-04-24T18:37:00.000+08:00

I've been staying in Punggol for the last few years, and I absolutely love this place. It is a sea side town, with nice and cool sea breezes. Being a new town, Punggol also has a lot of natural greenery. Another nice thing about Punggol is that the entire town has a flat terrain. This makes it easy for me to indulge in my favourite hobby - cycling! And I'm sure that older folks and pregnant women will find this to be a plus point too.

Recently, there is a new BTO (Build to Order) project for a new batch of HDB flats - Treetops@Punggol. A lot of fellow punggolians are commenting on the nice design, and eco friendly features. Here's a bit of the details:

And in spite of the price being on the high side, it was oversubscribed by more than 4.5 times. So the Punggol property market is certainly getting hot.